Me, my friend and our Akatsuki teachers!
by Tally Mai-chan
Summary: Sequel to Me my friend and Akatsuki! Tally and Shenori are back in their world but enemy ninja from the Naruto world are their as well and after their heads! The Akatsuki must pose as their high school teachers to protect them! M for swearing and other
1. High School Blues

Me: Hello! (dodges fruit thrown and random fans stabbing me with pitch forks.) I have atonement for that horrible "Me, my friend and Akatsuki!" Ending! A re-write of the last chapter and.... A SEQUEAL!!!! Enjoy!

Chapter 1: High school blues

"Shenori!!!" Abby whined as they waited together at their bus stop in a town located in northern Michigan. The weather was cold and cloudy and overall miserable, it had no positive affect on Abby's dark, emo mood. "I feel like I'm spiraling down into a pit of hopelessness as the faint ray of happiness fluttering upon the wings of a butterfly, fluttering away to the garden of eternal happiness whose gates are forever locked to me."

"What the heck are you talking about!?" Shenori exclaimed. "Why are you so... emo? Your not emo."

"Sometimes when I'm depressed I speak in emo/goth poetic ways." Abby explained. "Hey! The bus is coming!"

"Thank heavens." Shenori cheered as the warm, heated bus come to a shaky stop in front of them. "I'm sooo cold."

"You know what?" Abby asked as they walking into the bus.

"Whaaaat." Shenori whined, she was not in the mood to deal with Abby's crazy stories.

"I have a horrible feeling about today!" Abby shouted with glee as flowers and rainbows radiated from her body. Shenori ignored this and took her seat, Abby slipped in next to her and started to air drum a beat on the seat.

(later at school)

Millercreek High school was your run of the mill high school. It had every single stereotype click and like the majority of high schools in America it was big on football and weak in everything else. The school-much to Abby's distaste-was over populated with jocks and snobbish cheerleaders, on the flip side it supported a healthy nerd and geek population cuz was all know that a jocks favorite food is book worms.

The school had a insane, tyrannical principle and run of the mill teachers. It was a normal school, until that day that is...

"The first day of High School..." Abby said dreamily as she and Shenori walking through the large front doors.

"You're excited?' Shenori asked, shocked.

"Nope! I'm still can't believe that I'm now a high schooler!"

Shenori only sighed as she pulled out her schedule, she was hoping for a normal, quiet day though she knew that was just impossible considering Abby was in all of her classes and would therefore sit next to her in each and every one. Alas... their first day of high school was not to go as planned.

"Would Arielle Beige and Abby Garbini please come to the main office." The voice of the female secretary came over the loud speakers.

"OMG!" Abby exclaimed. "This has to be a record! Sent to the office after three minutes!"

"I don't think this is something to be happy about?" Shenori sighed as she pulled out the school map, "lets go..."

While they walked to the office Shenori noticed that Abby hadn't said anything in the a long while. "Is something wrong?" She asked, not knowing if she wanted an answer or not considering the last time she asked Abby what was wrong she got a emo poem in response.

"I've been thinking about them..." Abby hung her head as they walked, staring at the floor. "We were with them for nearly a year... and yet... when we came back here no time had passed at all."

"You're the one that wanted to check on our family and stuff..." Shenori trailed off, she also thought about them. "And now we can't get back."

"We can't even use our jutsu here..." Abby sighed as she ran through the hand signs to perform a simple lightning jutsu, a sad look appeared in her eyes when nothing happened.

" I still think this is your fault..." Shenori said sharply as they walked into the main office. Abby said nothing as Shenori talked to the secretary. They were directed into the vice principles office down the small hall.

"Take a seat." A oddly familiar voice said to them from behind a tall backed swivel chair. Shenori and Abby took their seats in the over stuffed arm chairs.

"You wanted to see us sir?" Abby asked politely.

"I did, Shenori... Tally Mai." The voice said calmly. Abby clenched the side of her seat as he did so.

_'How the heck dose he know that name?' _she thought, paniced _'The only people that know me by that name are Shenori and...' _"Leader-sama?" Abby whispered, Shenori jumped from her seat and spun the vice principles chair around to face them. A gasp escaped both girls lips as Pein smiled at them.

"Hello girls, good to see you again."

* * *

After a few minutes of explanation Abby and Shenori knew all about the enemy ninja infiltrating the school and targeting them.

"Wow... I'm targeted! New experiences!" Abby cheered as she jumped up and down in her seat, Shenori and Leader sweatdroped.

"Since it's too late to make it to your first period class I'll send you guys to your next class."

"Hey Abby," Shenori nudged Abby in the ribs as they left Leader's office. "Is this what you were talking about, how today was going to be a horrendously horrible day?"

"How is meeting Pein-kun again horrible?" Abby asked as she skipped in pace next to Shenori. They rounded a corner and showed their passes to the security guard and continued down the empty halls.

"No, something really, really bad will happen!" Once again flowers and rainbows radiated from Abby's body.

"You know..." Shenori said thoughtfully, "Now that I think about it, that things you say will happen... happen... are you seeing the future or something?"

"What if I could control reality!" Abby exclaimed as she tried to turn a locker into candy.

"Then again I could be wrong..." Shenori sweatdroped as Abby tripped on the staircase they started to climb.

"Why do you ask?" Abby prodded, looking for their next class.

"Well... these strange things have been happening to me lately...."

"Like what?"

"Well I can smell things really well and I can run faster..."

"Maybe we still do have our chakra!" Abby said excitedly. " Let's talk about it later, here's our class."

Abby boldly opened the door and walked in "Sorry we're late!" She sang out in a sing-song voice. "But we had scheduling problems..." Abby trailed off as she saw the familiar orange mask suddenly appear in front of her and pull her into a break neck hug.

"That's okay! Tobi doesn't mind! Tobi forgive you!" Tobi said as he lunged to hug Shenori who wisely stepped out of the way. Tobi beckoned the two girls closer and whispered in their ears all secret like "Tobi isn't supposed to let others know that Tobi knows you so Tobi has to "act" like he doesn't know you! So don't be confused when Tobi asks your name!"

"I got it!" Abby whispered back, giving him a big thumbs up.

"Okay!" Tobi exclaimed as he stepped back. "What are your names?"

"I'm Abby Garbini!"

"Arielle Beige, but call me Shenori."

"Okkies! Tall- I mean Abby! Shenori! Please take your seats!"

And so class went by without a hitch, Shenori was only slightly disturbed that Tobi was teaching the class considering that they were going to talk about the reproductive system later that year and she was pretty sure that Tobi never got the talk, at least to her knowledge he didn't.

For the rest of the class period Tobi just sat at his desk eating candy and playing word games with the other Freshman, he even shared his stash with everybody when class let out.

"Man, Tobi as health teacher is going to be awesome! Oh by the way watch your step." just as the warning left Abby's mouth Shenori tripped over some dropped books and fell. Abby graciously let her up and hummed as if nothing happened.

Luckily for Shenori they made it to their next class filled with computers without worry and took their seats.

"Hey..." Abby said in her chair, sitting at the computer next to Shenori. "Where's the teacher?... wait never mind..."

"What... oh don't tell me." Shenori slapped her head. "It's one of them isn't it..."

"Yep." Was all Abby said as she logged into the computer.

"You have been acting weird," Shenori stated. "It's like you can see-"

"The future?" Abby finished for her, giggling. "Yeah I can see the future."

"wait a sec!" Shenori turned to face her friend, deeply in shock. "Have you known this the entire time?"

"Nope!" Abby smiled. " I just found out."

"But how?"

"I saw it, you'll find out later... lunch in fact, turn around "teacher" is about to walk in, in 5... 4... 3... 2..."

"Okay! Listen up!" Kakuzu growled as he stalked into the room, slamming the door shut. "I don't want to be here and I'm sure you don't want to be here either so shut up and do as I say and everything will be peachy. If you want to ask a question you must pay me-"

There were shouts of protest and shock at this, one brave student asked if he was serious.

"Yes I'm serious!" Kakuzu growled as he glared holes into the student. "Now don't interrupt me again or you will have to pay me. As I was saying, if you have a question you must pay me, if you want to use the bathroom you must pay me, if you want to goof off you have to pay me and if you give me any trouble you have to pay me."

"You can't do this." One snobbish girl said. "It's against school rules and it's stupid." The girl screamed in shock as Kakuzu suddenly disappeared and reappeared right next to her.

"I'm only going to give each and every one of you one warning. After that you have to pay and if you tell any one about this then you will pay, and not just money."

After this no one spoke out, and for the rest of the class Kakuzu talked from one thing to another , basically it was average first day of school stuff only no one dared to talk for that cost money as well.

"Well that was fun!" Abby cheered as they walked out but not after Abby gave Kakuzu a bright warm smile. "I wonder if all the Akatsuki are teaching our.... never mind..." Abby laughed as she saw the future.

"Who's teaching our next class after lunch?" Shenori asked curiously.

"You'll see..." Abby snickered as she ran away from Shenori.

"Gah! Abby! The lunch room is the other way!" Shenori cried after her friend but atlas... she was too late, Abby was already gone. "Oh well... I'll just get lunch without her."

* * *

"Hey!" A short girl with dirty blond hair called out to Shenori.

"Hey Zen" Shenori sat down next to her middle school friends.

"Where's Abby?" Zen asked, looking around for the spunky brunette.

"Ran off somewhere..." Shenori said as she ate her chips, guarding them from her friends snatching hands. "At least no she can't steal my potato chips."

Meanwhile with Abby...

"Oh man am I hungry..." Abby whined as she crawled through the halls, her lack of food has brought her to this weakened state. "Need... food..." Abby outstretched her hands to the heavens as her vision faded... "I don't think... I'm... going... to... make it..." Abby had given up all hope when a hand suddenly grasped hers. "Who?" Abby looked up only to see the hottest guy she had ever laid eyes on.

"Hello" He said politely, his black bangs, brushed his forehead. Abby noticed his brilliant purple eyes and shaggy, yet luxurious hair.

"You are too good looking to be real." Abby said simply as he pulled her up onto her feet. He cocked his head to the side in a cute sort of manner, a perfect eyebrow raised.

"Why do you say that?" He asked, his voice a nice light soprano.

"Well..." Abby stuttered shyly. "The only good looking guys that are not jerks or gay are only in animes and animes are well.... not real sadly."

"So you're saying that if I was real then I would be a total jerk, and what jerk would help a lady as pretty as you up and if I was gay then why would my heart be beating so far from just looking at your beautiful eyes." He said smoothly, his hand still holding Abby's.

"Okay this proves it" Abby said with a shake of her head. "You are a figment of my imagination from my lack of food."

"Well, it is an honor then to be imagined by you." He laughed, oh how wonderful his laugh was! Like the ringing of a crystal bell. So Abby talked with this mysterious boy and when she asked for his name he called himself, Relm.

* * *

_'I never thought there would come a time in my life where I would actually wish Abby was here'_ Shenori thought, screaming mentally at Abby who had yet to come to class. _' I knew I should have gone after her.'_ Shenori cursed as she tried in vain to not look at her English teacher.

"Is there a problem... Arielle Beige?" Her English teacher asked in his smooth voice. Shenori growled as she heard the girls behind her swoon and giggle over their new teacher.

"No..." Shenori growled, forcing herself to look at the floor.

"Please look at me when speaking Ms. Beige." The teacher asked, even though she couldn't see it she knew that he was smirking in victory. Shenori clenched her fists as she looked up into her teachers onyx black eyes.

"No, I don't have a problem." Shenori quickly said and looked away. The teacher decided to end it there for now, continuing would result in suspicion and Leader had warned him and the others specifically against that.

"Well then class," The teacher walked or in the girls vision, glided to the front of the room and neatly wrote his name om the board. "My name is Itachi Uchiha and I will be your English teacher. This school year we will be going over-"

"I AM SO SORRY I'M LATE!" Abby yelled as she burst open the door and leapt into the room, landing in front of Itachi. "I am really, really sorry! I got lost and this one guy... teacher! Tried to help me but he was new too and got me even more lost and!-"

She was cut of by Itachi slamming a book over her mouth. "Just take your seat" He said monotonously. Abby nodded meekly and sat down at the front of the class, even more depressed because all the seats around Shenori were taken.

_'I'm sorry I didn't tell you Shenori...'_ Abby thought, as she listened to Itachi speak. Shenori however, who was five feet away from Abby herd the girl talking in her head.

_'What the heck!'_ Shenori screamed in her head,_ 'Did I... did I just heard Abby's voice in my head? Apologizing? No... I-I must be imagining things...'_

"Saved by the bell!" Shenori shouted in joy as the annoying low pitched bell blare out over the loud speakers, there were a few snickers aimed at Shenori as she realized she said that out loud. Shenori ignored them because she didn't care what people thought about her and gave Abby a cold glance as the girl followed her out.

"Don't be mad at me Shenori! Our next teacher is going to be great!"

"Really?" Shenori asked suspiciously.

"Yep!" Abby smiled as they walked into their 5th period class and siting on top of the teachers desk looking quite board was Sasori.

"Hello class," She said dryly, not noticing (or pretending not to notice) the giggling girls. "My name is Sasori Akasuna and I will be your teacher. There will be no homework-" there was a short pause as the entire class erupted into shouts of joy. "and instead we will be doing everything in class, now open your books to the first chapter, read the first section and do all the problems for that section. You may work quietly in groups of no more than three and may not talk louder than a whisper."

There were a few moans of protest but the class grabbed their books nonetheless and started working except for Abby who blew off her work like always

"Ne, Abby..." Shenori asked sleepily.

"What?"

"Why were you late."

"I-I got lost..." Abby laughed nervously and just a little to loud for Sasori glared at her.

"Okay, now tell my why you were really late."

"I got lost..." Abby pouted, staring blankly at the open book in front of her._ 'I can't tell Shenori that I was talking to this really hot guy'_

"You were talking to a really hot guy?" Shenori whispered suddenly.

"How did you know I was late because I was talking to a hot guy?" Abby exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"I don't know..." Shenori said, "didn't you just say it?"

"No... but I thought it..."

"You don't think... that I can read minds do you?" Shenori asked, already imaging the possibilities.

"No... you can't read minds." Abby said, patting her friend on the back.

"How do you know?" Shenori asked.

"I can see the future remember?" Abby reminded her, patting her on the head. Shenori irritably slapped Abby's hand aside as she started to actually work.

"I wonder why I can see the future and read minds and send thoughts out to people." Abby pondered as she chewed on the end of her pencil. "I could never do that in the Naruto world. Maybe it's a side affect after spending so much time there."

"..."

"Nuu! Don't ignore me Shenori! I'm too young to be alone!" Abby wailed as she got yet another glare from Sasori. "The whole world hates me."

Oddly enough their 6th period teacher never showed up so the class spent the whole time talking and a few of the rebellious students walked out. Abby knew who their teacher was and understood completely why he wasn't there and Shenori did too once Abby explained to her. They decided to give Zetsu a talk later about not eating people in their world.

"We have art next." Shenori said happily as she and Abby walked to their next class at the other end of the building. "I bet Deidara is going to be our teacher right?... Abby?" Shenori stopped and looked around only to see that Abby had disappeared. "Ugh..." Shenori growled in frustration as she stormed off to her last class. "She better not be late again."

* * *

As it turned out Deidara was not her art teacher, in fact it was the person she least expected to teach an art class... Hidan.

"Listen up little fuckers" Hidan said, leaning far back into his swivel chair, what surprised Shenori more than the fact that Hidan was teaching art was what he was wearing, a gray turtle neck sweater and it looked absolutely hot on him! "I'm teaching this class so you do every little fucking thing I tell you to do. No questions asked!" Hidan looked around the class, clearing looking for someone particular. Noting seeing the one person he wanted to see all day he looked at his attendance list, making sure they were in that class.

"All of our new teachers are hot." One senior girl whispered to her friend, behind Shenori.

"Like totally," The girl whispered back. "And they're all so young too! They have to be just out of collage! I be their single."

"I so want the math teacher." The senior girl giggled.

"Okay" Hidan exclaimed, standing up from his seat and running a hand through his lose, not slicked back hair, there was a sea of blushed from the students as all the girls watched entranced. "One of you is missing... I need someone.... Arielle" He pointed straight at Shenori. "Go find Abby."

"Yeah..." Shenori got out of her seat and practically ran out of the room, this day was just too weird for her.

So Shenori's quest for Abby began, she climbed perilous staircases, she ran the vast open plains of the halls and fought off vicious hall monitors with her bare hands.... okay she really didn't do any of that stuff. All she did was walk aimlessly around but that's just not fun now is it? Eventually as she came back around to where she started she smelled a familiar sent.

"I know this smell..." She said out loud, closing her eyes as she focused. "This smell is... Abby? Okay I knew I could smell better but this is crazy... oh well, might as well follow this sent... even of if feel like a dog doing so..."

Shenori followed Abby's sent-which smelled like cinnamon and spice-and was lend down a lesser traveled hallway. Shenori stopped when she could hear Abby's voice from all the way down the long hallway, hiding behind a trash can she listened.

"You are by far the best hallucination I have had Relm." Abby laughed.

"I keep trying to tell you." A new male voice laughed. "I'm real."

"No! You can't be gay! And you're defiantly not a jerk." Abby laughed again, her voice coming steadily closer. "Well maybe you are... keeping me from going to class."

"I'm not keeping you!" The male exclaimed, offended. "You are merely giving me a tour a the school I will be attending soon."

"Well if you put it that way..." Abby laughed as she passed the trashcan Shenori was hiding behind. Shenori could see and smell the guy she was with. He had medium length shaggy black hair and smelled like the earth after a refreshing rain shower. Shenori couldn't help but like his smell.

"Well I have to go now Abby." He smiles as Abby waved him goodbye. Once he vanished around the corner Abby sighed dreamily.

"I really, really, really, really hope he's real..." Abby sighed again as a dreamy expression over took her face. Shenori decided the time was ripe to make her appearance.

"Who was that?" Shenori asked, tapping Abby from behind on the shoulder. Abby jumped and gave a small yip of surprise.

"Sh-Sh-Shenori!" Abby laughed nervously, finding the floor very interesting that very moment. "What are you... doing out of class..."

"I could be asking you that since you didn't go to class and I did." Shenori folded her arms across her chest as she herded Abby back to class. "Hidan sent me to find you."

"I know..." Abby sighed deeply as the art classroom came into sight. "I was really dreading this meeting..."

"So who was that?" Shenori pressed earlier question.

"His name is Relm Stravascky." Abby paused before the door, balking against Shenori's shoves. Luckily for her though the bell ran and Abby bolted from the door. Abby had not gone three feet when strong arms grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back into the classroom.

"Hey baby," Hidan smirked down at the trapped Abby in his arms, Abby was silently thankful that there was no one else in the room with them except Shenori who kept looking over her shoulder. "Miss me?" Hidan nipped playfully at Abby's ear.

"Um..." Abby struggled in Hidan's hold, knowing all to well that Hidan wasn't going to let go of her until he got a kiss, she silently cursed being able to see the future. "Can I have a kiss?" She gritted the phrase between her teeth, truthfully she didn't like Hidan any more and didn't have to chance to break things up with him back in his world.

She was really regretting not doing so now...

Hidan smirked as he cupped Abby's cheek in his hand and kissed her hard on the lips, his teeth chewing on her lower lip. Abby immediately pulled away and slid out of Hidan's arms.

Abby stepped behind Shenori, using her friend like a human shield. "Um... we're at school and if you get caught doing something like that...."

"Okay, Okay..." Hidan sighed, "I guess we could do more later." A mischievous grin crossed his face as he stared seductively at Abby.

"Yeah.... isn't there a meeting you're supposed to take us to?" Abby hastily changed the subject.

"Oh, yeah that's right..." Hidan had forgot about the meeting. "Follow me then I guess."

(At the meeting in a empty room)

"Enjoy your first day of school girls?" Leader greeted Abby and Shenori the moment they entered the room behind Hidan, all the other Akatsuki members were there as well.

"It was great." Abby said as that dream expression came over her face again. "Just great..."

"Okay..." Shenori poked her out of it friend. "What I have been wondering is why Abby can see the future and I can smell really well." Shenori asked, short and to the point.

"Let me explain." Leader cleared his throat. "There is chakra in this world but it's used and channeled differently than in our world."

"Why didn't have these powers before?"

"That's easy." Abby interrupted. "It's because we didn't have chakra until we went to their world. I know a lot, or used to know a lot about the chakra used in this world, I sorta forgot..." Abby laughed.

"Like wise..." Leader continued. "we are affected as well, for the most part Kakuzu, Deidara and I still have our powers as before only weaker. Sasori and Kisame are having some problems controlling this new chakra and Hidan can't use chakra at all. The rest is unknown."

"Doesn't that mean that the enemy ninja from your world would be affected as well?" Shenori asked, already losing attention in the matter. Abby siting next to her was giggling with that stupid dreamy face again.

"Yes," Pein stood up and the rest of the Akatsuki did like wise. "Girls, you are going to live with us again for protection so say your good byes to your families."

"I don't think my parents would let me stay with a bunch of older guys." Abby said as she looked at the clock. "Yosh! Look at the time! The buses will be leaving soon!" With out another word Abby dashed out of the room, dragging Shenori behind her.

"Oh Shenori." Abby said casually as they ran down the halls. "Remember that horrible thing I said was going to happen?"

"Yeah..."

"Well it's going to happen.... right.... now..."

Just as they rounded the corner Shenori ran right into a trash can and fell in, right on to a pile of cleaned up puke and a mysterious brown substance that smelled awful.

"Abby..." Shenori growled dangerously low. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Sadly you catch me!" Abby yelled back as she raced against fate but atlas... Shenori caught her in less than a minute and Wiped herself off on Abby's brand new hoddie. "Seeing the future is such a pain..." Abby sighed.

So she and Shenori walked to their bus, ignoring the looks they were receiving, not knowing that someone was watching them.

"Such an interesting girl" A male boy with black hair smirked as his eyes focused on Abby. "I can't wait to kill her."

* * *

Me: Who! First chapter done and done!

Shenori: Meh.... I need coffee....

Me: Have a nice day and be sure to review!


	2. The Break up of the century

Hidan: Hello mother fu-fudge...er's... I have been reading the reviews and all of you are saddened that Abby no longer likes me but that is a complete and total lie. Our relationship is just hitting a-

Abby: Hidan.... what are you doing...

Hidan: Telling the readers that you still like me!

Abby: I don't.... I don't like you anymore

Hidan: What the hell!

Abby: In fact I'm officially breaking up with you in this chapter...

Hidan: WHAT!

Chapter 2: The break up of the century.

* * *

"Yeaaaah" Abby sighed as she walked into her normal empty house, her parents weren't home yet and she still hasn't figured out how to tell her parents that she was leaving. Her mom was way too over protective. "What am I going to do..."

"Just leave things to be baby." Hidan's smooth voice came from her living room.

"Hidan!" Abby fell from shock when she saw Hidan siting on her couch petting her dog. "W-what are you doing here?"

"Leader sent me and Kakuzu to help with the parent issue." Hidan explained, scratching Abby's dog behind the ears.

"Wintergreen!" Abby cried as her dog betrayed her. "And dang! I need to stop Kakuzu from stealing my money!" Abby ran out of the room, with the intent to save her money.

Meanwhile with Shenori...

Shenori had not stepped off the bus and reached the front door of her house when Itachi and Kisame walked right out, grabbed her by the arms and lead her away.

"Wait, what about my family?" Shenori asked, more to Kisame as she was trying to avoid Itachi.

"Genjutsu, they forgot all about you." Itachi explained calmly. Itachi and Kisame lead her to a red sports car and shoved her into the back seat.

"You can drive?" Shenori gaped as Itachi sat in the drivers seat, turned the on car and drove off like nothing to it.

"Yeah." Kisame grinned as he twisted around in the front seat to look at her. "Since we can't use our chakra here like normal and Leader wanted us to fit in. So Itachi, Kakuzu and Sasori learned how to drive."

"Ah..."

"We're taking you to the place Leader bought." Kisame said. "We were lucky to find it, three story house with 14 rooms and most important of all 4 bathrooms.

"Okay... what about my stuff?" Shenori remembered her manga hidden under her bed.

"Konan went and got all of your things, same with Tally."

Speaking of Tally, Abby was going through hell at her house, her parents had just got home to find the house trashed and two males pinning down a very angry Abby who tried to kill them. Eventually Kakuzu put them under genjutsu and hulled Abby to their car. Unfortunately for Abby she got stuck in the back seat with Hidan.

"Hidan please back off!" Abby cried as she pushed Hidan off of her in his attempt to capture her in his arms.

"What's wrong baby?" Hidan stared at her as she scooted as far away as humanly possible in the small car. "You've been acting weird, you fucking sick?"

"Nooooo....." Abby laughed nervously as she stared out the window. "It's just.... I'm.... I..."

"Just say it!" Hidan growled, irritated.

"I... I! I'm bre-"

"Just fucking say it!"

"I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!" Abby yelled at Hidan. The moment the words left her mouth, she instantly regretted it. She forced herself to look out the window, motionless. There was a raor of laughter in the front seat as Kakuzu nearly crashed into a red Honda. Hidan was struck speechless and said nothing the whole ride to the house.

(A very long and awkward car ride later....)

"We're here." Kakuzu cut of the ignition and stepped out, opening Abby's door. He lead her to the house, leaving Hidan behind in the car. The poor guy was still in shock.

"Kakuzu reporting in" Kakuzu yelled as he slammed the door behind him, shepherding Abby to the living room. "I have Abby."

"Where's Hidan?" Leader asked from his arm chair by a empty fireplace. The room was centered around the chair, there was a large U-shaped coach to the left of it and a small coffee table in front of it.

"In the car." Kakuzu shoved Abby down next to Shenori who had arrived only moments before.

"Why is he in the car?" Leader raised an eye brow when he heard Kakuzu snickering.

"He's heart broken."

"...."

"I'm not answering any questions on the matter." Abby said to Deidara who was about to ask her a question. "Besides.... you'll know eventually..."

"Well, now that you girls are here I suppose I can tell everyone room arrangements." Standing up from his chair leader walled over to the right to a large wall with a huge white, empty spot in the middle of it. He tapped the wall once and a portion of the wall slid back and phased to the right reveling a giant TV screen.

"Olly crap..." Abby and Shenori swore as the screen flickered to life. It showed a blown up image of the houses floor plan.

"Okay now," Leader said as he pulled out a laser pointer. "In the main floor, AKA the floor we are on now contains the the living room and the dinning hall and the kitchen. Most meals will be in the kitchen, each team will rotate between cooking and cleaning duties.

"The second and third floors will be where every bodies rooms are. The second floor rooms are as follows, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Abby, Sasori and Tobi. Third floor rooms are Hidan, Kakuzu, my own and Konan's and then Shenori and finally Zetsu. Yes Abby?"

"What about ninja training?"

"Ninja training will be suspended until further notice." Pein said quietly. "Every now and then we might go to some secluded place to exercise but other wise no."

* * *

Later that day...

* * *

"He's still out there?" Kakuzu asked Deidara and Kisame who were looking out the window.

"Yeah, un. I can't believe Abby broke up with Hidan!" The blonde artist exclaimed.

"I can't believe they were going out." Kisame snickered as a faint stream of curses reached their ears. Hidan was throwing a huge fit outside, cutting up all the trees into little pieces with his scythe.

"Hehehe... yeah, un." Deidara laughed nervously. He knew about Hidan and Abby's relationship considering he and Shenori long ago walked in on them.

"Hey guys." Abby said as she walked into the living room and taped the wall, the large TV screen popped out as she lazily channel surfed. "Kakuzu you may wanna stop Hidan cuz he's about to cut the car in half."

"Over my dead body" Kakuzu grumbled as he walked out, ready to beat Hidan into a bloody pulp.

"So watcha guys up to?" Abby innocently asked, leaning over the arm of the couch, staring at the two Akatsuki.

Kisame snickered as more of Hidan's cursing reached their ears. "Watching Hidan get beat up by Kakuzu."

"uh-huh." Abby sighed. "Guess this is all my fault."

"Don't sweat it kid." Kisame ruffled Abby's hair playfully.

"Nyaaaah! Don't do that." Abby shoved his hand away but Kisame persisted, he laughed sadistically as he loomed over Abby, giving her a massive noogie.

"I can do what ever I want." Kisame teased as he pinned her down on the couch, Abby trying to squeeze her way out.

"You're such a child molester!" Abby burst out into laughter as Kisame tickled her. "No! HAHAHA STOP! HAHAHA"

Deidara watched then scene some what enviously but the whole situation would quickly change as a bloody Hidan and Kakuzu walked in.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Hidan growled as he saw the two on the couch.

"Heiya Hidan!" Kisame waved from over top Abby.

"Get of me Kisame! Hidan's going to kill you if you don't! I know! I can see the future remember!"

The killer intent radiating off Hidan was enough to prompt Kisame off of Abby. Hidan moved to sit net to Abby but the girl jumped off and ran away.

"Shit." Hidan cursed, flopping down onto the couch.

"Tough luck, buddy, yeah." Deidara said teasingly. "But when a girl says she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you, un."

"I don't need love advise from the residential transvestite." Hidan growled, Deidara snarled and talked Hidan, punching him bloody... er, bloodier.

"Well this is a fine first day." Pein said from the doorway, Kisame and Kakuzu giving him quick greetings. "Just make sure they don't destroy anything."

"Yes Leader-sama." They said, thinking how they were going to separate Deidara and Hidan but thankfully they didn't need to.

There was a high pitched scream that made everyone jump, even Hidan and Deidara. The scream came from upstairs and the four Akatsuki ran up stairs to its source. Kakuzu could have swore he heard Abby laughing in the kitchen.

They ran to the third floor where they saw Itachi and Zetsu standing outside of Shenori's room.

"Whats going on?" Kisame asked.

"Well... you see...** It hilarious.**" Zetsu stared to explain when a glare from Itachi cut them off.

"Shenori is having.... problems..."

"Aaaahg!" Hidan whined. "Don't tell me its stupid time of the month stuff." There was a angry roar as Shenori's door opened just enough to throw a kunai at Hidan's head and slam the door shut again.

"Did I just see what I thought I saw." Kisame asked stunned, all of them had seen a glimpse of Shenori. And what they saw stunned them.

"Shenori open up." Itachi ordered.

"No!" Shenori called back.

"Open up, now" There was a tone of finality to the Uchiha's voice.

"Make me!"

"You asked for it." With one swift kick, Itachi knocked down Shenori's door and dragged the poor girl out of her room.

"Oh wow." Kisame smirked, trying not to snicker.

Shenori was covered from head to toe with dark brown fur, her hair was feral looking and her eyes were large and feline like.

"I hate my life." Shenori cursed.

"Its a side affect of this worlds chakra." Abby said, suddenly popping up from nowhere. "I don't think the change is permanent but its still on going. She'll get ears and a tail in about a day."

"What the heck!" Shenori charged at Abby, garbing her by the collar. "This is reversible right!?"

"Um well...." Abby stammered. "I'm... not... sure... it's kinda blurry."

"What do you mean its blurry!"

"I can't see it well, thats what blurry means."

"I know what blurry means but why now! Why blurry now!"

"Beats me, thats blurry too."

"You're no help!" Shenori yelled in frustration and ran back into her room which was rather pointless since there was no door for privacy.

"I can tell you whats going to happen next in your transformation!" Abby said helpfully from the door frame.

"That doesn't help at all... whats going to happen next?"

"Hair balls."

Shenori's groan of annoyance filled the entire house as the Akatsuki lost interest in the matter and left.

(later that night)

* * *

Shenori was laying on her bed, staring at her ceiling when someone knocked on her door frame. She knew who it was, she smelled him long before he began to climb the staircase.

"What do you want Itachi..." She closed her eyes, pretending not to care as the older male Uchiha stalked into her room.

"You don't have a door." He says simply.

"Yeah I know, a certain red-eyed male kicked it in." Shenori gruffed.

"You gave me no choice." Itachi sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Again I'll ask, what do you want."

Itachi said nothing as he moved closer to Shenori, he quickly pinned her down and whispered into her ear.

"This house is full of wolves and with no door to protect you how are you going to stay safe?"

"I can defend myself perfectly fine." Shenori resisted.

"I disagree" Itachi swooped her up into his arms and without anyone noticing he carried her off to his room.

(Meanwhile Abby was having some not so romantic troubles herself...)

"HIDAN FOR THE LAST TIME GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Abby forcefully grabbed Hidan by the collar of his shirt and threw(okay shoved) Hidan out of her room. Deidara and Kisame snickered like little kids as Hidan tapped on Abby's door, whimpering like a lost puppy.

"Come on baby, don't be this way, just let me-"

"NO!"

"But-!"

"I said no and thats that!"

"Give it up Hidan-san" Kisame patted Hidan on the back. "What you need right now is your good friend alcohol."

"I don't want no fucking beer!" Hidan shoves Kisame's hand away, choosing to sit outside Abby's room door.

"No Hidan listen! You need to get drunk and find yourself girl for a one night stand or somthin', it'll be good for ya."

"I don't need sex!"

"I think you do." Kisame grinned pervertedly as he hulled Hidan forcedly down the hall. "Now we are going to the nearest bar and getting you drunk!"

Deidara shook his head as Kisame shouted at Kakuzu downstairs to be their designated driver and turned to face Abby's door. He knocked lightly on the wood and braced himself.

"LEAVE ME ALONE HIDAN!" Abby yelled as she opened the door, armed with a spoon. "I will fu-fu-fuge! Deidara!" Abby fumbled with her spoon and tossed it back into her room.

"Hey, un" Deidara said cooly, "Wanna hang out with me?" He asked but not a word reached Abby.

"Where did Hidan go?" She asked, her mind obviously on something else.

"He went drinking with Kisame, why un?"

"Ah Finally, I'm starving but I didn't want to leave my room cuz Hidan would have bothered me immensely, well not that he already hasn't but still. I like to eat in peace."

"Well I'll go with you, yeah." Deidara grinned as his little plan in his head was set in motion, plan 'Get Abby' was about to begin.

"Okay." Abby said nonchalantly as they walked downstairs to the kitchen.

Abby beelined to the fridge, stepping around Sasori as she went and pulled all sorts of treats from the cool fridge.

"Abby, Deidara, do you two know where Kisame and Hidan went? They just dragged Kakuzu outside shouting something about him being their designated driver."

"They went drinking, un" Deidara answered his partner. With his cunning and ninja skills he swiped a cookie from Abby, munching it down with his hand mouth.

Abby shrugged at the loss and started on her food, oblivious to all things going on around her, she was in her own little food world.

Deidara strategically sat himself on the counter top next to Abby, he was ready to initiate step one in Operation _' Get Abby'._ He's liked Abby for a long time but couldn't make a move because of Hidan. Now that they've broken up its his turn.

Deidara fake yawned, stretching his arms way out and pulling them down, catching Abby in the process. The plan was to pull her closer to him but before he could grab her she dropped a cookie on the ground and bent down to pick it up, thus leaving him to cuddle with cold air.

_'Damn it,' _He cursed, watching Abby out of the corner of his eyes. _'Plan B.'_ He waited patiently as Abby tossed out the dropped cookie and placed another in her mouth, faster than the normal person he swooped in and took a bit of the cookie still in her mouth.

The plan almost worked this time, his teeth skimming the edge of the cookie, again Abby had escaped his plans by turning her head to say something to Sasori.

_'What the heck!?' _Deidara screamed mentally, '_It's like she can predict my next move! …... duh! She's a mind reader, and can see the future.' _Deidara could have smacked himself but he didn't. It was time for the unplanned plan.

Acting on the spurr of the moment he jumped behind Abby and tried to grab her around the waist when Sasori suddenly appeared next to him and grabbed his wrist.

"Deidara, leader needs to see us." He says bordly, turning to nod at Abby as he dragged the saddened Deidara out of the kitchen.

"Thanks Sasori!" Abby calls after them.

(Meanwhile with Shenori and Itachi)

* * *

Itachi.... wait what O.O... OMG NUUUU LOOK AWAY! MY VIRGIN EYES!!!!!! No readers! Run away! Run while you still can! You don't want to read what they're doing!!!! Okay some of you do but thats besides the point. Its not like they're having sex or anything but its still disturbing.... VERY disturbing....

(Back to Abby)

* * *

Okay.... Abby is just eating.... boooooring....

(Back to Shenori... okay no, not going back there... um them... oh! I got it!)

* * *

(Meanwhile, Hidan, Kisame were drinking in a near by bar, Kakuzu just watched them)

* * *

"Ish waaanted shex. Isssh all I ever waaanted." Hidan slurred drunkenly to an equally drunk Kisame. "But ssshhe never gaaaave me none."

"Well at leassht you loooksh good." Kisame hiccuped. "I can't get a girrrl to sshleeep with mee even if they ish drunk tooo."

"You know whaat Ima do when we getsh baack." Hidan shouted, slamming his hands on the table. "Ima go and demand whats rightfully miinee! That little horessh fucking virginity! Yeash!" In one gulp Hidan drained an entire bottle, marking his twelfth one that night.

"Hidan you should stop drinking, you're talking nonsense." Kakuzu said to his partner, secretly telling the bar tender not to give his friends any more drinks. He also mentally swore to keep Hidan away from Abby.

Kisame in his drunken stupor thought that it was a good idea to stand up on the table, take his shirt off and sing off key.

"I'm tooo sshexy for my sshirt, tooo sshexy for my sshirt..."

He shortly passed out after that.

Kakuzu sighed, was was never going to be Kisame's and Hidan's designated driver again, they could make Itachi do it for all he cared. None to gently, Kakuzu lifted Kisame and walked out of the bar. Hidan following him out,

"Fuuucking whore." Hidan cursed as Kakuzu threw him and Kisame into the back seat.

"And you guys have to teach tomarrow." Kakuzu growled, thinking of the hangovers they were going to get. They drived back, Kisame snoring loudly and sleep,singing. They pulled into the driveway and Hidan stormed out of the car, reeling drunkenly around. He manged to make it too the door way where he fumbled with the knob.

"Hidan back off." Kakura gruffed, dropping Kisame down on the porch.

"No!" Hidan yelled, cursed madly. "No,no,no,noooooooo." The beer became too much for Hidan and he passed out, landing in a, rather awkward position next to Kisame.

"Now I wish I had a camera." Kakuzu snickered to himself, thinking of telling the others about this. "They would never live it down."

"Hey Kakuzu" Abby came out the front door, camera in hand. "Looking for this." She offered.

"Thank heavens for future sight." Kakuzu took the camera and snapped photo after photo.

"I get a picture so I can blackmail Hidan."

"Deal." Kakuzu agreed and they shook on it. "Oh and be careful about Hidan. I'm sure it was just the beer but don't get alone with him..."

"Gotcha," Abby nodded, "Thanks Kakuzu."

She went back inside and Kakuzu took one last photo before joining her inside.

Sadly for everyone Hidan and Kisames hangovers were not going to be the worst thing they will have to deal with tomorrow...

* * *

Abby: Yesh! I broke up with Hidan!

Deidara: Yesh your single now!

Abby: (stares) um...

Deidara: Oh crap O_O I did not mean to say that out loud...... (runs away)

Hidan: GET BACK HERE BITCH!!! (chases)

Abby: Oh great, love affairs.... just great.... well review people! And cus I'm nice(really I just have no idea) I'll let you guys say who I end up with. Go to my profile and take the poll at the top to vote! Voting ends in three weeks so get your vote in soon!!!! Bais!


	3. Knock, knock Guess who? Its!

Abby: Chapter three!!! Yay! Yosh! There is a surprise in the chapter! I great one! One that will BLOW YOUR MIND. Or not. Who knows.

Chapter 3. Knock, knock! Guess who. Its-!!!!

* * *

"So Ariel is absent?" Kisame briefly scanned the class for the dark skinned girl. He knew she was stuck at home due to her untimely transformation but he had to keep up appearances.

"She told me she's sick." Abby said aloud and Kisame nodded.

He cleared his throat and started teaching 9th grade Science. The board was filled with different chemistry drawings and equations.

Abby was never one to pay attention, and add in her loathing for anything Chemistry she couldn't help but be so board that she fell asleep in class. The girl sitting next to her tired to wake her up but Abby waved her off.

"I'm sleeping... leave me alone..."

"Then sleep, you'll have plenty of time to make up classwork in detention. My room, lunch, today."

Abby let out one moan and started to hit her head repeatedly on the desk.

"I really, really hate chemistry."

After 1st period and a promise to come back for lunch she headed straight over to health and took her seat. Tobi was up at the front of the class room putting up pictures of candy on carrots on the wall.

"Okay class!" He cheered, "Hehehe I love saying that. Today we learn about eating healthy!! So listen up and I'll give the lecture!!" The class stared as Tobi pulled candy out of his desk and started to talk and eat at the same time. "Now to be healthy you must eat your fruits and veggies!! Candy is good too but I was told that it rots your teeth and then you have to go to the dentist! I don't like going to the dentist, the dentist is a mean, mean man with sharp tools and pokes inside your mouth with his nasty glove covered fingers!

"So eat bread and cereal and other grainy stuff six times a day! The food pyramid told me so! I think its really mean how Candy is at the top and is soooo small when its the best food of all! It should be on bottom! So bread is really good for you! Especially when its hard and flat like a cookie! Or big and puffy like a cake!

"Green vegetables are icky but they clean your colon! Or at least I was told that. I think that Salad is gross but a candy salad made with gummy croissants and m&m bits with candy canes and sugar poured on top as ranch sauce! Carrots are okkie vegetables but only cuz carrots are orange like Tobi's mask!

"Fruit is sweet like candy and good for you! Fruit is flavored after candy! Thats why it comes in sooo many flavors and sweetness. There's lemon flavored fruit, apple flavored fruit, cherry flavored.... they even name the fruit after the candy flavor and make them look all different from each other so people can tell them apart like they can with candy!!

"Milk makes your bones grow big and strong and your hair long and silky! Tobi was told that too! Tobi was even told that if you take a bath in milk it is the equivalent to taking a bath in vanilla pudding! Cheese and yogurt are made from milk! Oh and milk comes from chocolate cows! Or was that chocolate milk that came from chocolate cows... Oh! Thats right! Milkshakes come from milkshake cows and regular milk comes from dairy cows!

"So in conclusion eat lots of candy! But be sure to brush your teeth like Tobi does so you don't have to visit the mean dentist! Now, are there any questions???" Tobi cocked his head to the side , completely oblivious the stunned and cracking up faces of his class.

_'How did Tobi ever become a teacher???' _Abby thought mentally. "Um yeah!" She raised her hand. Tobi pointed at her. "Will this be on a test?"

"Yep! Your final exam too!"

The whole class groaned, none of them copied down anything Tobi said. The bell rang and everyone rushed out of class, though not before getting some candy from Tobi first.

In third period business with Kakuzu, Kakuzu droned on and on about the finer points of money and its value in life and philosophy. Abby fell asleep again. She paid for her choice with money from her pocket. She loved that 3.56 dollars, all the money to her name.

Indeed the school day was starting to drag until lunch time that is...

"I'm here for lunch detention!" Abby sighed, walking into Kisame's class.

"Good of you to make it." Kisame greeted from his seat behind his desk. "I'm sure you know what you'll be doing today."

"Grading the papers you're too lazy to grade yourself?"

"Congratulations, you won 124 papers that need to be graded, red ink please."

"I'm on it..." Abby took the huge pile and plopped down in a seat, grading diligently.

"Hey Abby," Kisame looked up from his work. "Can you read Leader-sama's mind?"

"Pein told me that if I read his mind, which he will know if I did or not, that he would ban all food from me...."

"Rough" Kisame chuckled. "Rough luck."

"Yep, its a fish eat fish world."

"You can grade sixth periods papers as well."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the homestead.

Shenori was longeing in the living room, resisting the urge to chase the butterfly that somehow got inside the house. Not only did she look like a cat but acted like one to. She stared balefully at the empty carton of milk in her hand.

Just as Abby said she had grown a pair of ears and a tail over the course of the night. It was kinda cool in its own way, she could hear things really, really well now and the tail gave her excellent balance. The fur kept her warm but it itched a lot.

She freaked out went he word 'fleas' came to mind and a strangled cry, half human half cat escaped her throat. She needed to find out how to change back before she turns completely into a cat.

Just as the thought of sitting down in a sunny spot and taking a nap entered her mind there was a knock on the door. Shenori quietly stalked across the house to the front door and looked through the peep hole and swore. Very, very loudly.

It was Orochimaru.

* * *

English Teacher Itachi ignored his fangirls who drooled and fawned over his every move and wrote "poetry" on the wall.

"For the next few weeks we will be learning about poetry." He grabbed a stack of white paper and passed it around the class, his eyes lingering on Shenori's empty seat. "Please take this paper and for the rest of class write a meaningful poem. Within that poem please utilize everything you know about poetry and writing it."

He sat down and starting reading a book.

Abby glanced at him sideways and smiled to herself. She didn't feel like doing her work, so why not have some fun instead?

She hung her head over her desk and focused on her power. Slowly the thoughts of everyone in the room started to trickle in her mind. She silently made gaging noised when a few girls fantastical thoughts of Itachi violated her mind.

She grinned as she knew her revenge. She focused on those two girls, they sat at the front of the class room and even now they stared devotedly at Itachi, their work completely forgotten.

Abby pushed her way into one girls mind and spoke to her.

_'Soooooophie, I am yoooooour coooooonscious!'_

The girl physically jumped, looking around the room in confusion. She turned to her friend and asked her is she said anything. The other girl said no and started oggleing Itachi again.

_'I just told you I'm your freaking conscious!'_ Abby mentally yelled at her, making sure she sounded different than she normally did. _'Now listen to me. Itachi is married, with five kids! Yes! Five! He's really 40 years old. He just looks young because he uses so many beauty products, and good genes helps too.'_

The girl paled and fainted on the spot, everyone but Itachi noticed. If he did then he did not show it.

Abby snickered to herself and started working on the other girl. This one's punishment, images of a ugly Itachi. An Itachi so ugly she could never look at the young teacher the same way ever again.

Suddenly her mind hazed over as a vision of the future came to her. The image of Itachi forcing her to give an oral report on the history of poetry the next day made her lose all notion of entering any more minds.

* * *

Meanwhile at the cliff hanger

"Little girl, little girl, please let me in!" Orochimaru cooed from the other side of the door.

"Never by the hair of my body you pedophile!"

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll rape your ass off unless you let me in."

"Let me think about that one..."

"I'm going to-"

"No! You'll never get me!"

There was a frightening silence then Orochimaru kicked the door down. Shenori run for the hills, aka up the stairs, and make sure to open the door to Itachi's room. Her theory was that the snake would be distracted by the elder Uchiha's sent and thus be distracted from her. In theory.

She ran up to the third floor and flung herself against Pein's locked bedroom door. She jiggled the handle but it wouldn't budge. Thinking fast she ran into Hidan's room and locked the door behind her. Instantly the smell of old blood filled her noose but she put up with it and dodged under Hidan's bed. Pushing some things around to make room for herself.

There she hid quietly.

The sounds of steps coming up the stairs sent chills down her spine. The door opened slowly and Shenori found herself crawling further under the bed. She could see his feet, walking around the room. He paused before the bed and Shenori knew she was caught when he turned around and left, closing the door behind him.

She left out a sigh of relief and relaxed a bit. She was safe for now. Her eyes wandered around and she found something disturbing.

* * *

Abby walked into the art room, hunched over, making herself as small as possible. She sat down on her desk and refused to look at the front of the classroom where Hidan stood. The bell rang and Hidan spoke.

"Grab some paper and draw something around this room to the best of your ability"

The class stared into action, people going to their respective clicks and chatting openly. Only Abby was alone by herself, she didn't mind though. Most of the people in her class were total jerks. Luckily for her though those jerks took up all of Hidan's attention, calling him over to help them with their pictures or just asking him random questions.

Abby stared blandly at her drawing of her pencil, she wasn't really trying but it looked decent enough. Classmates that happened to pass by complimented her on it, saying that it was really good. Abby thanked them for the compliments but they only said that because their best wasn't even half as good as her lazy drawing.

She laid her head down on desk when Hidan walked over.

"Is that your picture?" He gave a mocking chuckle. "It's not very good."

"I doubt you could do better." Abby shot back, defending her art.

Hidan laughed and grabbed a blank piece of paper from his desk. He drew the lines and slowly the image grew into the shape of a pencil. He added shading and highlights and grinning crookedly he held up his picture for her to see.

And it was stunning.

"I've never seen a more beautifully drawn pencil." Abby cried, staring in awe of the masterfully created picture. "I never knew you could draw!"

"Yeah, I used draw the pictures for bounties back when I was still with my village. Deidara and Sasori couldn't sketch a picture to save their lives."

"This doesn't change a thing between us." Abby said blandly. Hidan was about to argue with her when another student called for him, yelling his name repeatedly in her high pitched voice. Hidan grunted something to her and left.

Abby sighed and while the time was right snuck out of the classroom and the bell rang as she cleared the hallway.

* * *

Meanwhile at the suspense scene

Under Hidan's bed with a collection of pictures of Abby, all of them hand drawn. To top it all off a small simplified plushie of Abby.

"He's a total creeper!" Shenori screamed, completely forgetting their was a psychotic killer in the house.

"Little girl, little girl, would you please let me in?" Orochimaru chuckled from the behind the door.

Shenori laughed nervously.

"Didn't we already do that?"

"Then how about, I force myself in?"

The door shattered beneath Orochimaru's foot and Shenori cowered from under the bed. Orochimaru walked forward and bend down, his creepy smile greeting her.

"Looks like I found myself a cute little kitten." He chuckled and reached out for her. She hissed and scratched his hand. He scowled and snakes shot out of the wound, wrapping around her. He yanked and fished her out from the bed.

Shenori screeched, sounding like a dieing cat and kicked out with her clawed toes. Orochimaru hit her over the head and she fell unconscious.

* * *

The moment Abby got home she ran for the safety of her friend.

"Shenori! Shenori! Hidan's still hitting on me! I need you and your cat mutations to save me!"

Abby ran around the house but never found her friend. She glanced up at the clock and saw that it was only ten minutes until everyone came home. Panicking Abby tapped into her future sight. She couldn't see anything relating to her friend.

Abby ran to the kitchen, taking refuge under the kitchen sink.

Later when everyone came home they saw the note on the door that Abby obviously missed.

_Dear Akatsuki,_

_  
I have taken Shenori, do not attempt to bring her back._

_With lots of love_

_ Orochimaru.

* * *

_

Abby: What?! No! Shenori! Nuuuuu, why did I not see this coming!?!?! Whhhhhhy.

Well review dang you! I wan't to know what happens to Shenori!!! Review!!!


	4. Fire Power Angry Uchiha style

Tally Mai-chan: Ah, need a break from my other stories. Need. Crack! (Hunched over laptop writing madly on this story) I swear its like a drug for me.

* * *

Itachi was murderous when he got his hands on the note left by Orochimaru. Without a word he left through the front door. No one bothered to ask where he was going.

"Wait a second." Hidan looked around the room. "Where's Tally?"

"She doesn't matter right now, Kakuzu and Deidara. You two go find Orochimaru's base and figure out what he wants with Shenori. The rest of us will prepare and maybe find Abby. Right now I need to rest. Some kid dyed all the toilet water red then flooded every bloody one. Gawd I need aspirin."

"Tally!" Hidan shouted around the house, looking in everyone's rooms and all over the back and front yard. "Hey Tally!"

"You haven't been flirting with her have you?" Sasori asked as he came back inside. Hidan decided that he looked like he knew where she was. He always did somehow.

"You know where she is."

"Maybe." Said Sasori uninterestedly, he started to tinker with one of his battle puppets. Testing their joints.

"It wasn't a question."

"What do you have for me?"

"How about the best wood polish I can find."

"I have my own home-brew."

"I'll get Blond-Bomber of your back for a day."

"One week"

"Half a week."

"One or nothing."

"Fine!"

Sasori nodded and jerked his head towards the kitchen. "In the cupboards under the sink."

Tally's voice could be heard in the distance. "I hate you Sasori!!!"

Hidan dashed into the kitchen, diving for the cupboards just as Tally burst out from them, the doors swinging out to hit Hidan square in the face. He ignored the pain and made a grab for her, just missing her ankle. She landed on the kitchen table and kicked off, flying through the open doorway.

Hidan was on his feet in seconds and on her tail. He caught up to her in the living room but she regained distance going up the stairs. He knew he had her then, there was only one staircase, thus only one way to go.

Abby thanked pie when she ran into Kisame in the hall.

"I've never been happier in my life to see you fish face." She smiled teasingly, looking quickly behind her shoulder. Hidan was at the top of the stairs. "Listen, not much time. Protect me. Do any favor. PLEASE!"

"Okay, okay." Kisame said calmly, moving between her and Hidan, just as the man reached them. "Now let's do this all civilized like. Shenori has been kidnapped and Itachi is well... somewhere and we don't need you two getting in the way over love problems. We're going to solve this _now_."

"I agree" Leader came up stairs. "We'll go downstairs in the living room."

Downstairs in the living room.

The room was split into Hidan's side and Abby's side. Pein backing Abby and Kisame backing Hidan. Tobi and Sasori watched and were the designated judges on any matter.

"First of all." Kisame spoke first, looking to Abby. "How the hell did you two ever get together. I always thought you'd end up with Deidara."

Abby shrugged. "For reasons I won't say it happened."

Hidan laughed. "It's because I'm almost everything she wants in a guy." Abby shot him a dark glare.

"Deidara is still my perfect man."

"You're too good for gayomber."

"What kind of insult is that? You suck at insults."

"So do you."

"I'm not talking about me you stupid religious zealot!"

"Okay, okay." Pein took charge of the situation. "Why'd you guys break up."

"He's too clingy. Swears to much. Way to devoted to jashin. Rude, obnoxious." Abby listed off.

"Like you have a right to talk" Hidan resorted. "You have the weirdest habits, eats way too much. You never want to _do_ anything."

"Well sooooorry if I don't have any libido."

"Yeah well-"

"Enough!" Leader ended the argument there.

"I think both parties are at fault." Sasori said dryly.

Tobi jumped on the ball with his own opinion. Abby groaned audibly. "Tobi agrees and Tobi thinks that they should stay home and work out their problems while the rest of us go rescue Shenori-chan!"

Leader nodded. "Agreed, now lets get going and." He looked to Abby and Hidan. "When we get back you two better have this solved. I don't care if you get back together again or not I just want you to end this feud. If you don't then I'll feed both of you to Zetsu for dinner."

And everyone left, everyone but Hidan and Abby. But little did they know, that the moment they left they doomed the house to be home to, The Great House War."

* * *

"I didn't expect this to happen." Kabuto said apologetically to Orochimaru. "The data I recorded said the results would have been different than... this."

"Is she still usable?"

"... No..."

"No more Capitan Crunch for you any more Kabuto. Not until you've solved this problem"

"What! No! Anything but that! I LIVE off that sugar junk!"

"Well think about how much you want it while you change Shenori back."

Orochimaru walked out and Kabuto sighed, mindlessly petting a small, black cat.

* * *

"We found his base but couldn't get in, yeah" Deidara reported to Pein as they arrived. "We scoped out several entry points we could use. Most require some pretty extreme brute force though."

"We'll try to go in as quietly as possible. This is Orochimaru we're facing."

Everyone nodded and they somehow thought that they could get away with being quiet and sneaky. That is until Kisame was spotted by a guard and giant alarm rang throughout Orochimaru's entire warehouse base by the Big Water Lake marina.

The Akatsuki charged though Oro's forces, shouted epic battle phrases and the like as they slowly started to win the battle. They managed to make their way through half of Orochimaru's base when they came face to face with Kabuto, a black cat in his arms.

"So here are the intruders." He lifted his finger to push back his glasses, turning what looked cool in his head into a very geeky motion when actually executed. "I suppose you are looking for Shenori."

"Where is she." Asked Pein.

"Right here." Kabuto chuckled.

"I don't see anything, yeah." Deidara said, looking around the room. "Are you blind or something."

Kakuzu smacked the blond over the head. "Shenori is that cat you idiot!"

And indeed the black cat in Kabuto's arms meowed and glared at them intently through bright green eyes. The cat wriggled in his arms, clawing to be free.

"Just try and come any closer!" Shouted Kabuto, Shenori Cat stopped struggling when he started to scratch her behind the ear. Ah, how fickle cat's emotions are. "The moment you entered this base a barrier was set up! Trapping you all inside! Now no one can save-"

The entire wall exploded in heat and flame as a armored tank drove through the whole in the wall. Itachi standing on its top. A hand resting on the six foot long gun pointing straight for Kabuto.

"Here Kitty." Said Itachi and Shenori jumped from Kabuto's hands into Itachi's, purring contentedly. "Now. I'll show you the real meaning of "fire power"."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the homestead...

A hard ball of raw dough flew through the air, just missing Hidan's head as he ducked behind the upturned couch.

"Given up yet!" Abby mocked across the room from the kitchen door. The kitchen table braced against it for additional protection. "Come out so I can cook your ass pastry style."

"Only if your thinking dirty!" He shouted back, ducking another ball of dough. He figured it was only a matter of time until she got her hands on the kitchen knives. Thinking fast he rolled out from behind the couch, picking up dough balls as he went and hurling them into the kitchen.

Abby ducked behind her barrier and grabbed a pile of frozen hamburgers. She threw them at Hidan, as he rolled from furniture to furniture, steadily getting closer to her. Abby abandoned her projectiles and grabbed a long butcher knife from the knife set and jumped through the window.

Hidan kicked down the table into the kitchen and looked around. Suspicious at Abby's sudden disappearance. He checked everywhere in the kitchen, under the sink and found no trace of her.

"Where'd you go!" Behind him in the living room a piece of glass broke and he cursed aloud. The knife rushed through the air, hitting him square in the chest, right into his heart. He turned and hid behind the doorway. As he peeked back around a fist smashed into his face.

He crumpled to the ground. The pain didn't bother him, he loved it but that girl had one punch! He was back on his feet in seconds and they faced off.

"This has gone on long enough." Abby stepped back, pulling her arms up before her, fists bared. "Let's duke this out. All or nothing."

He laughed. "What's the "all" you speak of."

"What ever you want it to be."

"The loser has to do whatever the winner says."

"Within reason"

He smirked. "Oh no, its _whatever_ the winner wants."

"Fine," Abby agreed.

And the real battle has begun.

* * *

Bombs hurled through the air, gun fire lit up the smoke, and Uchiha kick ass fire jutsu's set fire to anything in its path. Itachi's army of five tanks and 7 shooter units from the Marines took Orochimaru's base in one fell swoop.

Orochimaru got away (few swears for that) and so did his geeky lackey Kabuto. But in the end, the air rich with gunpowder. A building burning into nothing and one Shenori cat cuddled in Itachi's arms. It was a battle not lost.

"Aw comeon, just want tank, yeah." Deidara tried to convince Pein that the Akatsuki totally needed a tank.

"No. You'll blow up the whole house!" Pein resorted, thanking the Marines for their assistance (how Itachi convinced them to help he'll never know)

"But its so big, un!"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Kisame burst out laughing, smacking a flustered Deidara on the back.

"Vulgar" Kakuzu shook his head, Itachi nodding in agreement.

"Deidara forget about the tank." Pein sighed as Deidara cried over the tank, being flown away by air copter. "You have your own explosives."

"Yeah but that's five pounds of clay. THAT was 5 TONS of steel and man power!"

Pein could feel the headache coming. "We'll buy whatever you want for dinner tonight OK?"

"Whatever, un?"

"Whatever."

"Then I want one large anchovy, peanut butter, pepper and onions, three cheese pizza with chocolate sauce on top."

"Yes." Pein gaged as the mental image came to mind. There was a reason why Akatsuki never ordered pizza. Deidara was the reason why. "We'll get on on the way back."

* * *

One disgustingly gross pizza later...

The rest of the Akatsuki returned home, Deidara and his smelling pizza in tow and walked inside. The collective gasp fell over the group as the entered what they thought was a war zone. The living room torn apart, melted balls of dough littering the floor.

Upon entering the kitchen they found it almost entirely coated in blood. Going from war to some mystery novel gone wrong the walked into the back yard and saw Abby giving Hidan a back message. It would have looked normal if it were not that both of them were soaked in blood, Hidan was missing an arm and Abby giving anyone a message.

"I see you got Shenori back." Abby said blandly to the black cat in Itachi's arms. "Kabuto's weird potion thing that made her like that will wear off in about thee days."

"Nice to know that." Pein said. "Now have you two solved you're differences?"

Hidan smirked. "You could say that."

"I don't care about details just so long as I don't find you two arguing again."

"All's well that ends well right?" Said Hidan smugly to Abby.

"Yeah, cuz being your slave makes everything right."

"Now come on. I wanna take you up on that offer. I believe you said "come out so I can cook your ass pastry style.""

Abby groaned.

* * *

Tally Mai-chan: Yup, like drugs but legal, haha.

Review! Click that button now. I don't care if its just say how much you hate my story.


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